My New Life As A Fake Adult

So, it's a New Year.  What's changed? Well, nothing yet, but I'm hoping for the best.

I'm a freshman at college......what I like to call the "Bittersweet, Beautiful Nightmare" that is my life right now.  The freedom, friends, and new places, are the Beauty of it all.  The work, bills, too much on my plate, and Midnight calls to Mommy "I just can't do this, I want to come home," are what I like to call The Nightmare portion of my new life.

It's been 4 months, and I've made great friends, and lost some too.  It's a crazy journey that I'm going to stumble through, and I think I'm ready.....I guess. lol.

Now back to me being a fake adult.  I'm at college, living on my own, making my own decisions, living the so-called "Dream," so to speak.  But I've come to realize that I, regardless of the legality of my adulthood,  am a child. I like to say "I'm an adult now *whine whine whine* I can run my own life now *whine whine whine*  so stop telling me I need to buckle down Mom! *whine whine whine* By the way....what's for dinner? Meatloaf again!?!? *whine whine whine*" I'm still being taken care of, I'm not on my own, and I can barely make a doctors appointment, yet I, and many others like me, think that we are real adults.

All of these new responsibilities, and I've still not gotten a handle on it yet. Despite these things, I'm still trying to prove myself, to myself. Will I succeed? Eventually. Will it be soon? Probably not. But that's the silver lining to this new revelation of fake adulthood, regardless of my helplessness now, I will aspire to what I want to be, because tomorrow....is a new day!

Oh P.S......when I become a real adult, you'll be the first to know! I'll keep you Posted!!