HIATUS OVER: Indoor Summer Guilt

Good God.  It's been almost a year.  Hiatus Indeed.

SO much has changed.  I still have my job at Dunkin' Donuts, just got promoted a little, which is awesome.

Though,  I am unable to live in my sorority house this year, while still a member, not living with my Delta Zeta sisters hurts me more than they know :/ I just got an apartment above a bar with my friend. I'm sure I'll be blogging about THAT experience.

Full-Time Student...... CHECK
Full-Time Job...... CHECK
Delta Zeta Responsibilities.... CHECK   
Apartment and Full-Time Bills.... CHECK  

Oh my.

ANYWAYS, I'm feeling very overwhelmed. Like, just consumed Taco Bell without Verde sauce level of nausea.  I have so much on my plate, too many new things, and feel very on my own.  But I am suffering from INDOOR SUMMER GUILT.  You know, when it's beautiful outside, but you have a tummy ache and want to stay on the couch, but feel guilty for wasting a beautiful day?

I can't sleep past 10 without feeling like I've wasted a beautiful morning, even though we all know I'm watching Maury from 10-11 anyways.  I can't nap, because it's just so nice out, how could I waste it?  I can't even write a DECENT BLOG BECAUSE I'M BESIDE A WINDOW AND IT'S JUST TOO DAMN NICE. Alas, my tummy hurts and I'm sleepy, and I just want to eat lunch and take a nap.  It's similar to the dilemma of:

*Sleepy-Time-Limbo* - DEFINITION - When it's late at night and you're too tired to be productive..BUT you feel guilty going to sleep when you have SO MUCH WORK to do, so you stay up surfing the internet or blankly staring at something, when you could be sleeping to be productive for the next day.  a.k.a. SLEEPY-TIME-LIMBO

Oh screw it.  I'd think of something witty, or cool to tell you, but honestly, I can't. The Window....it's just...TOO DAMN NICE!

Silver Lining?  I get to enjoy a nice day while being tired and having a horrible tummy ache.

Hiatus = OVER

My New Life As A Fake Adult

So, it's a New Year.  What's changed? Well, nothing yet, but I'm hoping for the best.

I'm a freshman at college......what I like to call the "Bittersweet, Beautiful Nightmare" that is my life right now.  The freedom, friends, and new places, are the Beauty of it all.  The work, bills, too much on my plate, and Midnight calls to Mommy "I just can't do this, I want to come home," are what I like to call The Nightmare portion of my new life.

It's been 4 months, and I've made great friends, and lost some too.  It's a crazy journey that I'm going to stumble through, and I think I'm ready.....I guess. lol.

Now back to me being a fake adult.  I'm at college, living on my own, making my own decisions, living the so-called "Dream," so to speak.  But I've come to realize that I, regardless of the legality of my adulthood,  am a child. I like to say "I'm an adult now *whine whine whine* I can run my own life now *whine whine whine*  so stop telling me I need to buckle down Mom! *whine whine whine* By the way....what's for dinner? Meatloaf again!?!? *whine whine whine*" I'm still being taken care of, I'm not on my own, and I can barely make a doctors appointment, yet I, and many others like me, think that we are real adults.

All of these new responsibilities, and I've still not gotten a handle on it yet. Despite these things, I'm still trying to prove myself, to myself. Will I succeed? Eventually. Will it be soon? Probably not. But that's the silver lining to this new revelation of fake adulthood, regardless of my helplessness now, I will aspire to what I want to be, because tomorrow....is a new day!

Oh P.S......when I become a real adult, you'll be the first to know! I'll keep you Posted!!