HIATUS OVER: Indoor Summer Guilt

Good God.  It's been almost a year.  Hiatus Indeed.

SO much has changed.  I still have my job at Dunkin' Donuts, just got promoted a little, which is awesome.

Though,  I am unable to live in my sorority house this year, while still a member, not living with my Delta Zeta sisters hurts me more than they know :/ I just got an apartment above a bar with my friend. I'm sure I'll be blogging about THAT experience.

Full-Time Student...... CHECK
Full-Time Job...... CHECK
Delta Zeta Responsibilities.... CHECK   
Apartment and Full-Time Bills.... CHECK  

Oh my.

ANYWAYS, I'm feeling very overwhelmed. Like, just consumed Taco Bell without Verde sauce level of nausea.  I have so much on my plate, too many new things, and feel very on my own.  But I am suffering from INDOOR SUMMER GUILT.  You know, when it's beautiful outside, but you have a tummy ache and want to stay on the couch, but feel guilty for wasting a beautiful day?

I can't sleep past 10 without feeling like I've wasted a beautiful morning, even though we all know I'm watching Maury from 10-11 anyways.  I can't nap, because it's just so nice out, how could I waste it?  I can't even write a DECENT BLOG BECAUSE I'M BESIDE A WINDOW AND IT'S JUST TOO DAMN NICE. Alas, my tummy hurts and I'm sleepy, and I just want to eat lunch and take a nap.  It's similar to the dilemma of:

*Sleepy-Time-Limbo* - DEFINITION - When it's late at night and you're too tired to be productive..BUT you feel guilty going to sleep when you have SO MUCH WORK to do, so you stay up surfing the internet or blankly staring at something, when you could be sleeping to be productive for the next day.  a.k.a. SLEEPY-TIME-LIMBO

Oh screw it.  I'd think of something witty, or cool to tell you, but honestly, I can't. The Window....it's just...TOO DAMN NICE!

Silver Lining?  I get to enjoy a nice day while being tired and having a horrible tummy ache.

Hiatus = OVER

Tick-Tock

Outrageous Hiatus. My bad. 

I'm too stressed to blog....It's really that bad, even blogging won't help.

I'm super sick...Missing recruitment is heartbreaking.

I wrote a poem....it helped. Not sure why, but it did.

Tick-Tock,
The clock chimes 8.
Shifts only half over...
I'll be getting off late.

4:50 AM, chills up my spine.
So quiet...so eerie...
everyone still asleep.
Heavy lids and lead feet.
Only God could get me there on time.

Day in, Day out,
Never enough hours.
More.  More!!  MORE!!!
Keep saving up...saving up.
-But why? For what?
Because...well, for..
-Nothing. A life with no point,
a life with lost purpose.

Day in, Day out,
a dangerous game we play,
So caught up,
we lose ourselves along the way.
What point then? None.
None at all.

When the Future's all you Live for...
you're not Living at all.

*********************

I'd like feedback. Please comment.

SELF SABOTAGE: God I Suck

Alright, I've been on intentional hiatus.

My bad. 

******EXCLAIMER******

BEFORE I start, do not assume that the examples I am giving in this entry are happening currently, I'm just reflecting. I've had other problems that sparked this, but this is mostly past things. THOUGH the job interview thing did happen like a month ago.

Anyways, I've had some intense things go down, I mean, damn, I really should of blogged before right now, because I have another incident that I need to discuss with you all. BUT I can't get this off my mind, so it comes first. It shouldn't be too long. 

Ok, to those of you who legit know me really well, MIGHT know that I have a HORRIBLE tendency to unintentionally self sabotage. Like, it's getting ridiculous. For instance, for this stupid job interview I had, (NOT WAFFLE HOUSE, F*** THAT PLACE.) At a research data analysis company, I was driving there and somehow, for the first time EVER, forgot to get gas, and forgot my debit card! I didn't run out, but I had to race home and have my sister take me.  Or I *Run My Mouth* I just don't understand, sometimes/usually I am the personification of *knowing exactly what to say and when to say it* but sometimes it's like "So, Abbey........WTF WERE YOU THINKING?!" That was CLEARLY a poor decision. Why? Just....WHY? Sometimes it's stupid sh*t I barely even mean.

Part of it is that I assume people are honorable and won't betray me, because I have a hard time accepting that people have no sense of loyalty. I mean, we all talk about people, it's our nature, and usually it all goes unsaid and blows over, but oh no, I can't just......God, I Suck.

I KNOW BETTER. Like, why do I shoot myself in the foot all the time? Is it a secret self loathing issue? I just don't get it. I mean, saying "so and so's a bitch" is NBD to me, if someone is a bitch to me, I will refer to them as a bitch. **And NO, as a matter of fact I DON'T care how sweet she is to you, she's a heinous bitch to ME, therefore, in my opinion, she is in fact a heinous bitch.** 

But what I'm really trying to get across is that my mouth just, just doesn't stop. THE WORST is when I don't see the implications of my actions coming, which is rare to me, I almost always know what I'm saying is a risk, but when I don't realize that, and am lulled into a false sense of security, I let my guard down, which is just retarded. An example would be talking about someone or something someone did, and then have them sitting around the corner. THAT stuff. 

Bottom line, I continuously find new ways, everyday, to F*CK myself in a most unappealing fashion.

Damnit. 

That's all folks'

Silver Lining?.................................this time, there isn't one. 

Well, I guess I'm lucky to NOT think I am a warlock with Tiger Blood, like the inspiring Charlie Sheen and his Goddesses. 

-Abbey 

OH P.S. STAY TUNED FOR MY NEXT BLOG......

"A**HOLES WHO WORK AT MY DOCTORS OFFICE"

SPRING BREAK: Finding My Way SANS Map.

This title is misleading, I, at some point in this blog, will indeed posses a map, because I will be going far away. That being said......

Once again I have unfortunately been on Hiatus.  I have had no desire to do much of anything.....let alone write, BUT I have started going to the Rec, which has proved to be pleasing to me.

Soooo, SB (Spring Break).  I had plans, they changed, now it's WWIII because everyone I know is retarded.   My best friend and I....lets call her "Danielle" are driving to Florida for SB....I imagine she will be doing most of the driving, because, well, I don't like to drive. I'll definitely help, but she just happens to be an excellent driver.  ANYWAYS......these people, lets call them "My Parents" are now pushing themselves, especially my "Father," to the brink of insanity, thinking of all the things that could go wrong. Wrong? Really? The likely hood of anything ridiculously bad happening is honestly 0 to none.

I took a poll today, amongst random college students in my classes, out of the probably 38 kids I asked, only 3 of them were planning on flying. The rest? DRIVING. Because it's cheaper and they have practical parents, who trust them to make their own decisions, instead of trying to strangle them with "what-effing-ifs'" If I wanted their incessant worrying, I wouldn't complain as much, you'd think they'd catch on by now.

They ARE "My Parents" so of course they are going to worry about me, but honestly it's been a month and a half shy of 19 years, and I'm here to tell ya, I've done some stupid shit, but....wait......can it be? Oh right.......I'M STILL HERE. I'm clearly good at keeping myself alive. I think the real problem is that they don't trust me to make good decisions, or take care of myself, which is more hurtful than anything else, to be honest.

I am going to Florida. I will be driving there with my best friend "Danielle."  We will be staying with her Grandparents. It's going to happen. No use fighting over something this stupid.....it's not like I want to go see the pyramids, I want to go to the damn beach. No biggie. Either help me do this, or stand back and watch me fly. I've made up my mind....though I would feel soooo much better knowing they were ok with me going, but approval isn't a deal breaker to me, never has been.  I hope they make it easy for me instead of difficult....because people who love you are SUPPOSED to support you....or so I've heard.

I'll keep you posted while I'm basking in the sun.

Silver Lining?

Regardless of the troubles and obstacles of the journey.....at the end of the day, I'll be breathing salty sea air and Loving every second.

Un Salud,
ARH

Back from my HIATUS: Waffle House Interview

I, have been on Hiatus. Which is outrageous for a blogger, but you see friends, unlike some people, who just post about their everyday things....like how I intended to do when I started this, Will ONLY write when I have something Legit to say, or will lose the few readers I have. :-(

So....This is a "amusing anecdote" if you will, about my goal to become a Waffle House Employee, unfortunately.

(To understand the insanity of my choice of shift, let it be known that I have insomnia, so it makes sense...for now)

It started with a phone call, one I never intended to make. I have submitted my application at, I shit you not, 17 different places, to no avail.

I swore that even though the only place that actually had a "Now Hiring!!!" sign was Waffle House, I would never apply because it is, how do you say.....gross? *let it be known that if I get this job I will make sure none of them know I have a blog so this doesn't get me fired* ANYWAYS I figured out that I may need to start doing some UN-fake-adult-like-things. Like getting a job when I need things. I've held out a long time, but this is why I caved and did the Waffle House thing, (which I am getting to, I promise). These are my reasons:

1. Short for tuition.
2. Spending money....I WANT IT.
3. I want to study abroad.
4. I want to go to Panama City or some beach for Spring Break 2012...which will happen because the world will NOT be ending.
5. I need to stop mooching off my parents....they pay most of my shit anyways, you know? I feel guilty for bleeding them dry.
6. MAINLY for number 1 though.

Anyways, I called the WH (waffle house, I am sick of typing it) to ask if there were still openings, which of course there were because, well, it's F***ing WH. She told me in a oddly rude fashion that they were only looking for 3rd shift.

Which she said, and I quote, "is the only shift available, and it is for 2AM-7AM (I wrote it on my hand as she said it, fyi. Remember that for later in this story when I get told that it is really a 10 hour shift). So you probably aren't interested, so have a nice day. But to her apparent displeasure I said, rather loudly "THAT'S PERFECT!" So she told me to come in and fill out a form, blah blah blah.

I go to the WH and fill out the form, which consisted of

What's your name?
Are you 16? <<< that's seriously all it asked about age.
Do you have reliable transportation?
Have you worked at a WH?
Phone Number?
What shift?

THAT'S IT. LITERALLY.

High standards, I know.

The Interview....Part 1

I get a rather awkward phone call from "Joe" which was an ordeal, because apparently he could only do it at 2:30 which is when I have class, so I asked for 2....and he said, and I quote, "Well, I'm usually extremely busy until 2:30, it's a very demanding job, making waffles for people." Apparently people don't eat waffles at 2:30 I guess.

But we agreed on 2:00 and he said that he may be able to see me, but not to count on him being able to take a short break.
........you're the fucking manager, you can take a break you prick.
I arrive at like 5 till 2. (I was literally walking OUT of the waffle house 9 minutes later).

He made me wait while he stood behind the counter, doing nothing but scoping out the waitresses, who were waiting on the 3 customers. he makes time to see me at 2. He was a total dick.
"well, the 3rd shift is actually a 10 hour, from 9PM-7AM" which is fine, I don't care. and then said
"are you prepared to work holidays and weekends? One of the downfalls of working at WH, people need us at all times, you better expect to work about every weekend since you live so close, because the food industry is a demanding bitch, when she wants it she gets it (insert creeper-like laugh)"

Once again, it's F***ing WH. I'm sure it's in high demand at all times.

He had the whole "My self-importance is way to high for my job, so I'm a total prick."

Managing is hard, but Calm The F Down.

He then said "well, I'll call you for a second interview next weekend, I'd shake your hand, but I just got a nasty cut making a waffle, all in a days work." He then preceded to hold up his clearly bloody band-aid clad finger. yummy.

Can't wait for the second interview, if I get a response to this part, I'll be sure to detail interview numero Dos.

What's the Silver Lining? Regardless of the negatives....it's still a job and a paycheck, which is what I want.

That's all folks.

P.S. Views on the trickle effect of shitty jobs coming soon.

Fuggs: A short blog.

This will be a short entry because it is 1:45 AM.....and I have homework to do still.

I hate Uggs, AKA Fuggs. (EXCEPT the gray ones that are tight and go to the knee with white fur inside and big grey buttons that connect them with fur sticking out, those are ok).

I may have not mentioned this...but I live in this Tundra-like-Waste-Land known to some as "Ohio," which is covered in not 3-5 inches as predicted by the news....but by 6-8 inches of snow. This has caused every female, and some males who are VERY comfortable with their sexuality to bust out the oh-so-hideous Fuggs. What happened to Cute (just so you know I just had a 5-6 minutes sneeze attack in the middle of this) snow boots? I don't care if you water proof them, they aren't made for snow, and look disgusting and dirty when wet. And no. They are not cool, they are the footwear version of the Minivan for moms.....which is hilariously detailed in my FAVORITE blog https://hiccupsandheels.wordpress.com/ they should just never be worn in any way. I just, ugh, I just hate them.

I also hate that I look just as uncool as Fugg wearing girls....because while their feet are ugly but Warm in the snow....Mine look awesome, but are freezing.

I respect that they have the courage to go into public with that hideous footwear.

This is a stupid blog, I just need at least one new person to know how much I dislike Fuggs.

I also hate Onions. A Lot.

That's All Folks!

The Left-Hand-Handicap

Hello again my 3 readers, sorry it's been a few days, back to my life as a fake adult at college.  Already having adjustment issues, but that's another blog brewing in my head, we'll go there another day.

I, like 8% of the world's population, live with what I call the "Left-Handed-Handicap" and it plagues my everyday life.  Here are some challenges I, and my left handed people face daily.

(If you have anything to add lefty's, feel free to comment and I will dedicate a blog to new challenges I forgot to add to this pity party).

Anywho, back to my everyday struggles.

1. The Oh-So-Easy-Manual-Can-Opener.....the one parents buy when they feel like being cheap and not getting electric, while I'm at it I'll start making my own butter. THIS particular item has caused many trees to die by paper towel use.  I can't begin to tell you how many times THIS happened during my childhood/teen years.

I would get out some SpaghettiOs, and go for the 1700s style can opener, and proceed to open my delicious lunch I was making, unprepared for the disaster that was to unfold....in all fairness, my mother brought this upon herself....if she would of just made me grilled cheese, this would never have happened, ever. I would precede to open my can all awkwardly with my right hand, because the can-opener, like most things, is made to be used by right-handed people. During this awkward opening, my awkward grip would slip....flinging the SpaghettiOs all over the counter, floor, me, (once my poor cat was a victim), and anything else within a 5 foot radius EXCEPT my bowl.  Not fair, a mess, no SpaghettiOs, feeling stupid for not being able to open a can of food.

2. Scissors.....the bane of my existence.....they make left-handed ones.....BUT not in kindergarden....when I was the one being sent to slow class because I was too uncoordinated to cut on the dotted lines. I am traumatized.

3. COLLEGE CLASSROOM DESKS....AHHHH!!! Ok, so I'm in Astronomy class today....which is in an actual planetarium, so the seats are leaned back quite a bit. now these seats have those stupid yet apparently effective build in mini-desks on the right side.  Normally, I can awkwardly reach across....which is inconvenient but doable. But not in this seat, oh no, this classroom has those laid back seats, so I can't reach far enough over to use the Biased desk, forcing me to stay leaned back....holding my notebook in the air. Not what I would call an appealing position.

4. This isn't really the world dissing my lefties....BUT because our hands drag over our writing...it makes the side of our hands dark from the lead or ink....and don't even talk about dry erase boards or chalk boards.....or using Sharpies/markers on anything....instant mess.

Hope you enjoyed this odd insight, I want to make a store that sells only Left-handed products....but tell no one...so when Right-handed people buy things and take them home.....they will be in a state of utter confusion as to why their kitchen and possibly their cat are covered in SpaghettiOs.

That's All Folks!